Please

Now that I have children I spend a lot of time with other parents. One thing I find we all have in common is using the word please as a way to help us get through our day.

Below are some examples.

Please keep the pee off of me and in the diaper. (The second the diaper comes off my girls pee.)

Please let me be dreaming, no one is crying at 3am right? (Someone always is.)

Please don’t let them poop while they are in the jumperoo. (Do I really need to explain this one? Yuck.)

Please don’t let anyone show up unannounced; I look like I have been struck by lightning!(Someone always shows up.)

Please don’t let me have banana in my hair. (My daughter Alexis gives raspberries while eating)

Please don’t let anyone notice the spit up on my clothes. (Someone always does)

I have no idea who I am speaking to when I do this but I do it anyway.

Add to the list if you do this as well.

One thought on “Please

  1. Please, God, let me get to the gas station without running out of gas. I don’t want to have to walk in the rain.

    Please, Phoenix, my sweet, sweet, blind and deaf Aussie puppy, stop that crying bark that annoys the neighbors. They don’t know you’re terrified of being left alone in a world you can’t see or hear, and you’re going to get the police called on me. It breaks my heart to hear your gentle-souled little self crying because you don’t know where I am, but you can’t go with me to the store and you have to stay in your crate.

    Please, my dear son, stop stretching Mommy’s belly so tight. It hurts Mommy and she already looks like a damn empty distressed leather purse. The last thing I need is another stretch mark.

    Please, behemoth boobs of mine, save your leaking for when I have breast pads on. Springing a leak when my bra is off still bugs me.

    Please, credit card machine, take my card. I don’t know how much money is on there, but I think it’s enough and I need these groceries and it’s terribly embarrassing when my card gets declined in front of other shoppers.

    Please don’t look at me like this. I look bloody awful right now and I don’t have the energy to put makeup on. Or decent pants, not that they’d fit anyway…

    These are the times I’ve said please already today. I know there will be more…

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