While I was pregnant everyone told me the back pain, the morning sickness, the insomnia, the acid reflux, and so on, would become a distant memory. They were convinced I would want more children.
My response to them was; ARE YOU KIDDING ME! NO WAY I WILL FORGET! I have been blessed with two babies. I am not getting pregnant again!
My pregnancy was very difficult. I was in and out of the hospital frequently, and I was persistently sick and in pain.
In addition to the normal pregnancy related symptoms I was a paranoid mess after my miscarriage. I was continuously worried that something was going to go wrong.
Is the water in the shower too hot? The babies don’t have sweat glands.
Should I eat tuna or should I avoid it all together?
I can only sleep on my right side. I can’t sleep on my left side. I can’t sleep on my back. That can cut off their air supply.
Do you think this chicken is fully cooked? I don’t know? Put it in the microwave to let it cook longer. (It was like eating plastic by the time I was done with it)
I actually called the number on the back of a lean pocket box one time to double check the type of cheese a specific meal had in it.
As you can see, most of my worries were food related. I was so concerned I would eat something that would cause the girls harm and they would have a birth defect.
Despite all of that worry and sickness, it was also a lovely experience. I loved watching my belly grow, until it looked like it could be used as a weapon. Man I got big! I also loved feeling the girls move around. I could watch my stomach go up and down for hours.
I never in a million years thought I would consider having more kids.
I have two beautiful girls, why go through all of that again!
Below is the battle I have been having with myself over the past month.
Sentimental me: How cute is this! Look at how small these outfits are. I want another baby.
Pragmatic me: Are you kidding me! Put down the outfits and RUN! Do you not remember sleeping sitting up for two months because lying on your side was too painful?
Sentimental me: Look at their bassinets!! I can’t believe they fit in these! I want another baby.
Pragmatic me: Splash cold water on yourself woman! Don’t you remember the acid reflux? You chugged so much milk to ease the pain that you developed sand in your kidneys!
Sentimental me: Look at that pregnant woman! Her bump is so cute! I miss my bump!
Pragmatic me: Are you nuts! You didn’t look like that! You were so big you couldn’t even walk.
While I may not have forgotten the challenges I faced, I certainly do not remember the severity of them if I am considering having more kids.
Who is going to win?
Sentimental me or pragmatic me?
Only time will tell.