Should I Have Offered Him A Baby Wipe?

Yesterday afternoon my friend and I witnessed an unthinkable act. I am still in disbelief and have been unable to erase the image from my memory.

Here is what happened.

A truck belonging to a lawn service company was parked on the side of the road. One man slept in the truck while his partner was out on the lawn…well, read the below conversation to find out what he was doing.

“Look, there is a man sitting in the bushes.” commented my friend.

“Actually, I think he is squatting.” I replied.

As we stared intently, the man stood up with a bare bottom and pulled up his pants.

“Oh my gosh! He was doing more than squatting.” I spat out.

I think you can put two and two together and figure out what he was doing. I couldn’t believe it. I understand he was working on the lawn, but about fifteen stores, all with sanitary bathrooms, surrounded him. What was he thinking?

My mind began racing. I didn’t know how to react.

Should I…

  1. Stare
  2. Laugh hysterically
  3. Ask for a business card since he is clearly an expert at fertilizing lawns. (Obviously kidding)
  4. Offer him a baby wipe.

After the shock wore off my friend and I selected number two. We began laughing hysterically. I think the image of this man will be burned into my memory for the rest of my life, and I will never be able to look at gardeners in the same way ever again.

3 thoughts on “Should I Have Offered Him A Baby Wipe?

  1. Ugh, how unsanitary! If he had to go that badly, the odds are he was sick. Can you imagine that spreading on your lawn when it rains? Gross.

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